Helping Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Success builds self-esteem. Because underachieving students do not experience as much success in the classroom, low self-esteem is often the result. Many parents assume that their underachiever may have a lower IQ. However, most underachievers have high or average IQs, but their low self-esteem prevents them from succeeding in the classroom.

A school-aged child’s self-esteem is cultivated primarily at home. Therefore, it is important that parents have a complete understanding of what self-esteem is and how to help build positive self-confidence in their child. The key is the way a child feels about himself/herself regardless of how others view him/her. Children who constantly put themselves down have low self-esteem. Children who face new experiences with confidence and positive expectations, and shrug off disappointments with an “it will be better next time” attitude, have high self-esteem.

A secure home environment that establishes confidence, respect and an open exchange of ideas, thoughts and feelings is crucial to building self-esteem. The more positive a child’s self-esteem, the more successful he or she will be at dealing with life.  Confident children will try harder, be happier and have greater self-respect.

For the first 5-6 years, parents are the most important influences in a child’s life.  When children begin school, teachers and friends begin to play a role. When a child reaches adolescence, peer groups begin playing a more significant role in guiding a child’s self-esteem. The more positive a child’s self-esteem is before adolescence, the easier it will be for him or her to resist negative peer group pressures. 

The following communication tips may help build or restore your children’s self-esteem:

·      Have easy-going conversations on topics that are of interest to your children.

·      Ask questions that require in-depth responses.

·      Be optimistic.

·      Encourage children to express their true feelings.

·      Listen to how your children feels without making judgments about those feelings.

·      Be patient.

To build positive self-esteem, parents should strive to:

·      Help their children to set goals.

·      Assist their children in identifying obstacles to success and developing ways to overcome them.

·      Remind their children to think positive thoughts.

·      Praise their children everyday.

·      Everyday, say “I love you” and mean it.

·      Allow their children to be free to succeed and to make mistakes.

·      Compliment their children and don’t compare them to other siblings.

·      Make time to talk to their children every day.

In today’s society, there is a definite demand on students to succeed, and positive self-esteem is crucial to that success both in the classroom and later in life.  Self-esteem must be established at an early age and strengthened throughout every child’s life.  Recognizing the steps to take to build self-esteem can help parents boost their children’s self-esteem.